No matter how desperate your financial situation, never apply to be Mike Tyson's garbage man:
"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard."
Hey, it's just like if you couldn't use your dog's slobbery water bowl as a fancy hat to honor him when he croaks. Let's face it, it's oh so perfectly sane to inflict possible brain damage on an individual getting in the way of you making a stickball bat. At least it is to people who chew off other people's ears.
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