Brooke Shields Occupation: Former Calvin Klein Jeans Pusher
Does she do anything other than shill health products and get in fights with celebs anymore?
"Not learning to love the way I looked earlier. And I think I would have had sex a lot earlier! I think I would have lost my virginity earlier than I did at 22. I had the public and all this pressure, and I wish I had just gotten it over with in the beginning when it was sort of OK. I think I would have been much more in touch with myself. I think I wouldn't have had issues with weight--I carried this protective 20 pounds [in college]. It was all connected. And to me, that's a health regret. "
Note to 16 year old boys trying to convince girls to have sex: not only does it cure your acne, but it cures your 20 protective pounds!
Brooke Shields Occupation: Former Calvin Klein Jeans Pusher
The Princeton University alumna gives us a glimpse into her Ivy League brain:
"I'm so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized that I didn't understand she had to explain: 'That's like three Mercedes.' Then I understood."
This is the FOR REALS new math, otherwise known as Lil' Waynian Economic Model.
Brooke Shields Occupation: Former Calvin Klein Jeans Pusher
Spoken during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Ooh la-la Sasson! Nothing comes between Brooke and her Calvins, especially not Joe The Camel and his cancer sticks!

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