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Beyonce Knowles Occupation: Sasha Not So Fierce
And the Ugly American continues chug, chug, chugging along. Sigh.
"Y'all are so cute and y'all talk so proper over here. I love England."
"And all y'all are so great the way you put that extra 'u' in the word 'favorite' too! England is dope. I'd put a ring on it, y'all!"
Beyonce Knowles Occupation: Sasha Not So Fierce
Like something embroidered on a throw pillow in Paula Abdul's house:
"One of the things that kept me out of trouble was doing something creative - creativity can`t be judged."
Someone should inform all the music critics, movie critics, theater critics, art critics and all the judges on "So You Think You Can Dance." Good job, Beyonce! Now the unemployment line got even longer.
Beyonce Knowles Occupation: Sasha Not So Fierce
God asked her if she wanted to be pretty or be smart. Guess which one she chose:
"I don't see myself as a brand, a brand sounds fake, I am real."
Beyonce should have consulted Jennifer Lopez about this "real" business. Poor Sasha Fierce has been working on fake branding herself for months and all she got from it was a discounted shirt from House of Dereon.
Beyonce Knowles Occupation: Sasha Not So Fierce
File this under Celebrity Whine #1095:
"There are responsibilities that come along with this life ... trying to have a romantic meal without someone sneaking in to film the whole thing."
That IS a heavy "responsibility" indeed, Beyonce. Some people worry how they are going to feed their families, but that obviously doesn't hold a candle to your pain. By the way, please learn the definition of responsibility before you use it again. Thank you.
Beyonce Knowles Occupation: Sasha Not So Fierce
When bad weaves and backhanded compliments fly...
"It doesn't annoy me, no, because I respect J-Lo. I like her, I think she's great. And I know that I'm over a decade younger than her, it's so flattering that I'm so young and people are comparing me to someone who has accomplished so much. But I don't think I'm like anyone else and really, I'd rather not be compared to anyone else."
It's so flattering that Beyonce risked breaking a nail on her calculator trying to get some exactitude on that age dig on J-Lo. You know Jay-Z was the one that told her "decade" would sound better.
Beyonce Knowles Occupation: Sasha Not So Fierce
Mrs. Jay Z washes away Sasha Fierce by eschewing footwear and hair brushes for God:
"Who I am on stage is very, very different to who I am in real life. But I don`t see that having a sexy image when you are on stage means that you don`t love God. No one knows what I`m really like from that. I like to walk around with bare feet and I don`t like to comb my hair."
She's right. Religious people never wear shoes, well, except for Jesus and those sandals that hippies wear now.
Beyonce Knowles Occupation: Sasha Not So Fierce
It's a hard knock life for her!
"I'll be able to go to the theater every day and drop my kids off and maybe make some food — maybe I'll know how to cook by then — and then go do what I love and have some normalcy and have a regular schedule."
As opposed to her regular schedule right now which seems to solely consist of sitting next to Jay-Z at basketball games.
Beyonce Knowles Occupation: Sasha Not So Fierce
The obvious cathartic choice is always red, white, and blue stretchy satin...
"After doing these roles that were so emotional I was thinking to myself, 'OK, I need to be a superhero. Although, when you think about the psychology of the heroes in the films these days, they are still a lot of work, of course, and emotional. But there's also an action element that I would enjoy. I would definitely have to keep it right for that costume. The way that Lynda Carter wore it, she was sooo fine. She was amazing. I saw her costume at the Met. Her waist was unbelievable. It was pretty crazy, actually, her proportions. But I love Wonder Woman and it'd be a dream come true to be that character. It sure would be handy to have that lasso. To make everybody tell the truth? I need that. It would come in very handy."
But if you had that lasso Beyonce, how could you continue to nurse your delusions of talent?
Beyonce Knowles Occupation: Sasha Not So Fierce
Proving that your weave can be too tight:
"Acting is easier and smoother than singing - it's less drama."
It's also less singing. And dancing. And candlestick-making.
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