Jennifer Lopez
Occupation: Stubbornly refusing to evolve professionally
Excuse you? Who pays to see you in movies anymore?
"People like to see you in a movie stuffing your face and burping. I like it!"
When did she switch careers with Cameron Diaz?
- 08.27.2010 | 10:56 pm
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Jennifer Lopez
Occupation: Stubbornly refusing to evolve professionally
You know, I was wondering, what do you think of Cameron Diaz's career, Jennifer Lopez?
"A lucky model who's been given a lot of opportunities I just wish she would have done more with."
As opposed to being a lucky Fly Girl who was given opportunities we wish she had done more with? Cameron should have filmed the magnum opus "Maid In Manhattan" instead of becoming the highest paid actress in Hollywood for a few years.
- 08.09.2010 | 7:17 pm
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Jennifer Lopez
Occupation: Stubbornly refusing to evolve professionally
The Greta Garbo of Castle Hill doesn't get the deal with that Winona Ryder chick.
"In Hollywood, she's revered, she gets nominated for Oscars, but I've never heard anyone in the public or among my friends say, 'Oh, I love Winona Ryder.'"
When Jenny From The Block was turning over couch cushions searching for spare change for bus fare to Fly Girls auditions, the rest of "the public" was actually living under a rock watching "Beetlejuice", "Edward Scissorhands", and "The Age of Innocence"...Grow up Jennifer, big butts are so '97.
- 05.23.2010 | 6:02 pm
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Jennifer Lopez
Occupation: Stubbornly refusing to evolve professionally
A story of the skinniest man in the world and his big pillow:
"I actually had this really big pregnancy pillow that I used at night and Marc still sleeps with it to this day."
It's probably because the pregnancy pillow isn't always asking him to smell its newest craptastic perfume or telling him to buy it another diamond necklace from Chopard.
- 05.19.2010 | 11:41 am
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Jennifer Lopez
Occupation: Stubbornly refusing to evolve professionally
La Butt seems to think Madonna doesn't deserve a S.A.G. card:
"Do I think she's a great actress? No. Acting is what I do."
Pay attention! Acting is what Jennifer does! Not wearing see-through dresses to the Grammys, not filing her nails in a jail cell, not marrying waiters and certainly not singing in tune. It's acting and she plans to milk the memory of "Selena" and "Out of Sight" for the rest of time.
- 05.11.2010 | 3:54 pm
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Jennifer Lopez
Occupation: Stubbornly refusing to evolve professionally
The modern day Dr. Ruth Westheimer on the female form...
"People equate sexy with promiscuous. They think that because I'm shaped this way, I must be scandalous - like running around and bringing men into my hotel room. But it's just the opposite."
The exact opposite? So were the men taking you to their hotel rooms, Jennifer? You're right, that's totally sexy not promiscuous at all.
- 05.03.2010 | 7:21 pm
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Jennifer Lopez
Occupation: Stubbornly refusing to evolve professionally
One half of Buttifer talking out her ass?
"I worked out really hard getting ready to play Selena...She had a 23-year-old butt!"
Being fatally shot in the back by your fan club president hardly compares to the torment inflicted by your personal trainer making you churn out that last set of reps on the Butt Blaster. Sweatin' To the Tejano is like hard, ya know what I'm saying?
- 04.23.2010 | 9:07 pm
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Jennifer Lopez
Occupation: Stubbornly refusing to evolve professionally
I guess she means all the people who didn't buy tickets to "Gigli" or "Anaconda" or "Monster-in-Law":
"There are certain people that are marked for death. I have my little list of those that treated me unfairly."
You'd better be careful before she gets all chola on your ass and starts taking her hoop earrings off.
- 04.11.2010 | 6:57 pm
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Jennifer Lopez
Occupation: Stubbornly refusing to evolve professionally
When did we all decide it was acceptable for crappy actors to refer to themselves as artists?
"I`m trying to get the focus back on what I do as an artist, not what I do at home."
What does the Marie Antoinette of Fly Girls do at home? Sit on her big white satin bed staring at herself in the mirror and eating bon bons?
- 04.03.2010 | 11:26 pm
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Jennifer Lopez
Occupation: Stubbornly refusing to evolve professionally
And now a message from the Viagra family of products:
"As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that the harder things are, the better
things are. When you’re tested, that’s where you get to the next level in your
life."
She got this latest mantra from a fortune cookie Dr. Phil gave her.
- 03.21.2010 | 1:48 pm
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Jennifer Lopez
Occupation: Stubbornly refusing to evolve professionally
La Lopez displaying fake uncertainty, take 47. Action!
"The few days before I got really nervous I was like, what if I forgot how to act?"
Not knowing how to "act" hasn't been an obstacle in her career before, so why worry now?
- 08.09.2009 | 12:45 pm
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Jennifer Lopez
Occupation: Stubbornly refusing to evolve professionally
Why do you look like such a bitch Jennifer?
"I have the stardom glow."
No, that's just hot flashes.
- 08.18.2006 | 2:27 am
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