Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
Paris pouts and stomps her Louboutins!
"I wanna have like a family and a guy. Y’know, it just upsets me because I'm not anything like what people say about me, and this cartoon character that they've made of me is just completely false. It makes me mad that I'm such a good person and I'm treated like that by some people, I just don't get it.
"
They do say that herpes can cause memory loss...
comments:
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
Another sign that the looming recession is hitting us all where it hurts:
"I can't walk the streets. It's too embarrassing. I don't want to go out anymore. I don't want to party."
If she can't walk the streets, how will her pimp afford his Cadillac payment?
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
From the wasteland that is Paris' daily routine:
"I like to see myself in magazines looking good. I don’t read anything – I just get them to look at my outfits. I want to see if I look cute or not. I’m too lazy. I only flip through and look at me. I’m not interested in anyone else."
Finding a cute photo of Paris in a magazine is akin to looking for The Loch Ness Monster. Rumors of it abound, but no one has yet to see it materialize. Photoshopping is indeed optional if eternal waiting is too tiresome.
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
In an effort to gross out more of the world, Paris offers up this:
"I want to have two children - a boy called London and a girl named China."
Since she seems to want to name her kids after places where she will be creating them, may I suggest "In Front of Camcorder" and "Girls Bathroom at Hyde" as possibilities as well?
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
Regarding her sentence for violating probation:
"I feel that I was treated unfairly and that the sentence is both cruel and unwarranted. I don't deserve this."
Ok, seriously now... who taught Paris how to correctly use the word "unwarranted"?
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
From Brittish GQ Magazine asking her thoughts about Tony Blair.
"Who? Oh yeah... he's like your president? I don't know what he looks like."
Just another ditty from Lobotomies of the Rich and Famous.
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
Chatting to the Los Angeles police about schlocky boob pimp Joe Francis' home robbery:
"Like I really . . . I don't remember. I'm not like that smart."
Like, we know.
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
Paris talking about her sister Nicky:
"Nicky and I are different in this crucial way: She's better at shopping than I am."
But you're better at collecting STDs than she is, so it all evens out.
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
Finally, Paris puts her undue fame in perspective for all of us.
"There's nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde - like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana - and right now, I'm that icon."
C'mon now. If she didn't think that highly of herself, who would?
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
In an attempt to stay relevant, Paris develops stalkers for herself:
"I've had a lot of stalker incidents, and I usually can handle them, but the scariest one was when a guy turned up at my dad's office and said he was my fiancé. "
But the real scariest part was when they found out that the guy claiming to be Paris's fiancé was in fact Tara Reid.
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
This is just not boding well for the future of earth.
"People think I'm stupid. But I'm smarter than most people.
"
Sure, if 'most people' means Nicole Richie and the brothers from Good Charolette.
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
The tramp doth protest too much!
"I'm so smart now. Everyone is always like, 'Take your top off.' Sorry, no! They always want to get that money shot. I'm not stupid."
Cuz yeah, like if they soooo want the money shot, they're gonna totally hafta bust out the AMEX for her sex tape.
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
On the topic of Charlize Theron...
"My acting coach told me I have a similar style of acting to her so we may end up vying for the same parts"
Proving that acting coaches, much like juries, can be bought.
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
Paris gets spiritual:
"Kabbalah helps you confront your fears. Like if a girl borrowed my clothes and never gave them back, and I saw her wearing them months later, I would confront her."
Forget Kabbalah! For the love of Madonna, alert the CDC that Paris is lending out her clothes!
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
Paris Hilton hates British people.
"All British people have plain names, and that works pretty well over there. "
I answered my own question. Yes, this is why people in other countries think we are stupid.
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
Said to romance hack Jackie Collins...
"If I could read a book, I'd definitely read one of yours."
Aim high, Paris! Aim high!
Name: Paris Hilton
Occupation: unknown
Occupation: unknown
Give me a word, any word, and I show you that the root of that word is Greek.
"It is like a weird Greek name. Like Douglas."
Paris is come from the Greek word trollop, is mean whore. So, what do you ride in sex tape? A Paris. You see: Paris, trollop. There you go!