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Colin Farrell Occupation: Baby Maker
They made him go to rehab. He should have said no, no, no...
"I love the pints and I love good times and laughter and singing a song and being with people. There's nothing like it. If I'm not going to enjoy this life, just give it to someone else."
Judging by the dour snooze fest he's become, he handed his life over to someone else alright. It must have been gift wrapped, topped with a big red bow and a bottle of Jameson Whiskey. Sobriety didn't improve his fashion or skank choices, though. Another theory down the drain.
Colin Farrell Occupation: Baby Maker
You can never accuse Dirty Colin of not knowing his priorities:
"I know what's important at the end of the day, and it's not a set of car keys, or a red carpet under your soles."
No, it's a high-priced lawyer who can issue cease-and-desist letters for random sex tapes and whip out confidentiality agreements for hookers in a Hollywood minute.
Colin Farrell Occupation: Baby Maker
Sure and begorrah! Colin's sainted Irish mam must be so proud. Always the embodiment of class and refinement, Himself chats about his feckin' genitalia:
"I couldn't care less about who sees my bits... My friends asked how I could do scenes like that and not get excited, but it wasn't like that. My bits looked the size of a cashew nut!"
Cashew nut, huh? Well, I guess that explains his reputation for the unbridled bedding of women he has to pay to sleep with him.
Colin Farrell Occupation: Baby Maker
Thank goodness Colin Farrell had his family to stop him from getting a rep for banging hookers and getting coked up...
"The reason why I can do what I do - and I'm not talking about acting, I'm talking about being away from home for long periods of time - is because I have such a f-cking great thing to come back to. If I wasn't as lucky as I am, in respect to the family that I have and how much they are my friends, I would be coked out of my f-cking head in L.A. I'm telling you - I know my f-cking demons. I'd be coked out of my knot every night in L.A. I'd be banging more hookers than you could shake a f-cking stick at. If I didn't have the family that I have, that's what I'd be doing. I'd be lost, you know? I'd be lost."
Considering he's admitted to ordering hookers up like pizza and keeping piles of drugs in his hotel safes, it is no wonder he went to rehab for EXHAUSTION. That kind of stuff can make you soooo sleepy. There must be something in the water in Hollywood cuz that "Exhaustion" goes around like a bad cold.
Colin Farrell Occupation: Baby Maker
Can't he just get a therapist or a friend or an iphone app to share these thoughts with?
"There's something very basic about rubbing honey on your skin and going steaming with a bunch of strange Russian men."
I know you want us to think you are so quirky and bohemian, but we don't. We think you act like an emotionally-stunted man who is trying way too hard to get our attention. Here, have a lollipop and go play with your Iron Man action figure set and think about the career you should have had.
Colin Farrell Occupation: Baby Maker
Hollywood's former "It" boy expounds on the reasons he no longer gets top billing on most movie posters?
"Heroin's fine in moderation."
This could replace the "Just Say No" campaign. If only Nancy Reagan had been hip to the jive of today's faux bad boy movie stars.
Colin Farrell Occupation: Baby Maker
You'd never lie to us, would you Colin?
"I don't say or do things for shock tactics."
No, he said and did them because CAA told him they already had a dark haired emo actor named Jake Gyllenhaal.
Colin Farrell Occupation: Baby Maker
Acting Class Minus 101:
"I kept saying 'Bang bang' and they kept having to cut."
When they give out Oscars for playing cops & robbers as a five year old, Mr. Lucky Charms is a shoo-in.
Colin Farrell Occupation: Baby Maker
Colin's flack must have told him to fill the bad boy void in Hollywood this interview.
"I've always been a firm believer that casual sex is a good thing. There is too much fun to be derived from it for it to be anything but good. "
Isn't this coming from a man who is now paying child support for TWO kids?
Colin Farrell Occupation: Baby Maker
What exactly is the cussing and hooker/drug mentioning count in an average Colin Farrell interview?
"My Mum taught me great manners."
Apparently, Mrs. Farrell has a different idea of etiquette than Miss Manners.
Colin Farrell Occupation: Baby Maker
A skanky lothario without a plan?
"I`m in no hurry to get anywhere. I don`t have any plans. I don`t have a map. If you did in this business, you`d destroy yourself."
This is true. If you had a map, you might avoid making clunkers like "Alexander", going to rehab, shtupping your co-stars and making a sex tape. You wouldn't want to destroy yourself like that or anything...
Colin Farrell Occupation: Baby Maker
Close but no cigar...
"It's not that I'm stupid. I just don't think sometimes. "
I'm sure we never could have guessed that by the parade of skanks he's aligned himself with over the years.
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