Lil' Wayne
Occupation: Whoopi Goldberg
This is really more of a stupid quote from Lil' Wayne's mother:
"A year after Rabbit was gone, I was on tour like crazy with Cash Money, and my momma said she was bored, alone, and scared in the house by herself. She was like, 'Why don't you just have a baby with somebody? Just tell the little girl's mom I'ma take care of the baby, don't worry about that.' I was like, 'I don't have nobody I like like that!' She was like, 'Just find somebody! You don't like Toya?' I was like, 'Alright, I like her then.' Toya was 14 when she got pregnant, and I was 15 asking 14-year-olds. Toya's the only person that agreed outta all the ones I asked. I said that my momma wants a child. And they was like, 'That's your momma's problem!' So Toya was like, 'Shiiit, when we due, boo?'"
This quote makes Maury Povich's shows look like Masterpiece Theater. Although, maybe if Thomas Hardy had lived long enough to witness this quote, perhaps Merchant Ivory would have produced a lushly filmed drama out of it.
- 05.08.2010 | 12:56 pm
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Lil' Wayne
Occupation: Whoopi Goldberg
On the list of things I never cared to know:
"I'd probably love to have sex with…man, I think she's dead already. I'd probably want somebody like Marilyn Monroe -- somebody that's been with the president or something. If I had Marilyn Monroe, I would do whatever she asks and whatever she's never had done to her. And I swear I'd do it good!"
I guess that means Monica Lewinsky has something good waiting for her around the bend?
- 04.24.2009 | 9:20 pm
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Lil' Wayne
Occupation: Whoopi Goldberg
The end of days is near and the powers that be have sent Lil' Wayne as their emissary! Rad!
"The world is about to end in 2012… ’cause the Mayans made calendars, and they stop at 2012. I got encyclopedias on the bus. The world is about to end as we know it. You can see it already. A planet doesn't exist - there's no more Pluto. Planes are flying into buildings - and not just the Twin Towers. Mosquitos bite you and you die. And a black man and a woman are running for president."
He has encyclopedias on his bus, but he only uses them to prop up the table on which he plays Hungry Hungry Hippos.
- 09.27.2008 | 7:29 pm
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Lil' Wayne
Occupation: Whoopi Goldberg
Mirror, mirror on the table, who's the most delusional of them all?
"I don't do too many [drugs]. I just smoke weed and drink. But I'll never f*ck with no more coke. It's not about the bad high; it's just about the acne: Cocaine makes your face break out. I'm a pretty boy."
Johnny Cash is dead, but we get to keep Lil' Wayne??? Bah!
- 06.09.2008 | 6:51 pm
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Lil' Wayne
Occupation: Whoopi Goldberg
Poet laureate Lil' Wayne on why he abstains from the kibbles and bits...
"A junkie can't do what the f**k I do. I try to tell them [police]. I am the ultimate high, understand? I am my drug, you understand me?"
After a defense like that, can you believe they arrested him? Sounds pretty sober to me.
- 05.03.2008 | 4:22 pm
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