Naomi Campbell
Occupation: Furious George
Funny, I don't remember Oprah ever ripping Naomi a new one when she lied about writing her own 1994 literary masterpiece "Swan"...
"I just did not have time to sit down and write a book."
Not everyone has time on their hands the way Jane Bloody Austen did! If you want to write a book you, you hire someone to write it for you and take all the credit. And when you want to have a hissy fit that the book didn't sell well, you can always keep stacks of said unsold books all over the house for handy bitch-to-assistant projectiles.
- 07.13.2010 | 10:45 pm
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Naomi Campbell
Occupation: Furious George
Someone's vintage Walkman is overplaying that Rockwell cassette a little too much...
"People have told me for months and years 'you're a target' but it's only just kind of sunken in that I am a target. I have to be very careful who I'm around, what I say, who's around me."
Just because you're a paranoid supermodel who probably suffers from residual drug-induced delusions doesn't mean they aren't after you.
- 06.17.2010 | 4:08 pm
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Naomi Campbell
Occupation: Furious George
Naomi pens a new memoir: "Under the London Sun"?
"I love England, especially the food. There's nothing I like more than a lovely bowl of pasta."
Blimey! I know how she feels. I can't ever leave Italy wihout without tucking into a big bowl of fish and chips or noshing on some bangers and mash.
- 05.25.2010 | 6:54 pm
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Naomi Campbell
Occupation: Furious George
Model, rich man arm candy and...secret member of the C.I.A.?
"My contacts have told me where Saddam Hussein is hiding. He is in Saudi Arabia."
Stick a pink wig on her and hand her an umbrella and she's Jennifer Garner in "Alias". No wait, that's Britney. Whatevs. With Naomi's special cell phone kung fu abilities and obvious supernatural intelligence, it's no wonder she was recruited to join The Company. Go get 'em Agent 99!
- 05.12.2010 | 3:30 pm
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Naomi Campbell
Occupation: Furious George
Justice is blind unless you pose arms akimbo for Vogue:
"You can't f***ing touch me, my cousin is Scotland Yard."
These, of course, are the original lyrics to MC Hammer's magnum opus.
- 04.01.2009 | 7:27 pm
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Naomi Campbell
Occupation: Furious George
Naomi on the birth of a new civil rights movement, one overpriced pose at a time:
"I look at [modeling] as something I’m doing for black people in general."
But are you also doing it for Natalie Portman?
- 04.24.2007 | 8:57 am
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