Name: Gwyneth Paltrow
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Playing fast and loose with history, much like she did with her Hollywood boyfriends, Goop has a new scold for us:
"It is so different from the United States. It seemed to have a history, and the buildings are years and years and years old. Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it's from 500 B.C., it's incredible."
America apologizes to Spain and Great Britain for foisting the great pile of poo known as Gwyneth Paltrow upon them.
comments:
Name: Gwyneth Paltrow
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Pretentious Popeye takes a moment from consuming her macrobiotic, free range spinach to let us know this:
"I am who I am. I
can't pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.
"
Somewhat similar to how she can't pretend to be gracious, humble or human. She yam what she yam.
Name: Gwyneth Paltrow
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Cue the violins! The Job of self-help newsletter writing is down in the mouth.
"F-ck the haters! I saw this blog of people writing horrible things about me and, for a second, your ego is so wounded. How could people hate me, my intentions or what I'm trying to do? I'm a good person and I'm trying to put good things into the world."
Apple told her that saying "f-ck the haters" would make her sound oh-so dope.
Name: Gwyneth Paltrow
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Ben Affleck's old girlfriend takes a moment out of her Goop-y lifestyle for some self-reflection:
"People think I'm aloof, or old, or that I breathe rarefied air—that's not me."
No, we're all pretty sure that the air you breathe Gwyneth smells like undeserved entitlement, organic sunflower seeds, and a whole lot of self-importance.
Name: Gwyneth Paltrow
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
The close pal of Sadie Frost and the rest of the Primrose Hill Temperance League has this to say about her non-alkie friends:
"No. I think they're the idiot people and I'm the normal person. But I don't really go to parties where ... I don't really have drunk friends. My friends are kind of adult; they have a drink. But they hold their liquor. I think it's incredibly embarrassing when people are drunk. It just looks so ridiculous. I find it very degrading. I think, ooh, you're really degrading yourself right now, to be this pissed out in public."
Just replace every random word she says from now on with the word "Goop". It will make it all better. Like, "I'm Goop Paltrow. I am a goop person who gives her goop opinion on all sorts of goop she knows nothing about." See! Sunshine day!
Name: Gwyneth Paltrow
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Self-aware as always:
"I don't want to be rich and I don't want to be famous."
You're well on your way to the second part, honey.
Name: Gwyneth Paltrow
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
The always delusional Mrs. Coldplay throws a pity party for herself:
"I'm really f**king good at my job, and people who are interesting and good know that. That's all that matters."
As for the people that actually buy movie tickets...they suck right Gwynnie? Please do us all a favor you insufferable prat and shut up.
Name: Gwyneth Paltrow
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Displaying all the graciousness a Spence education can provide, Gwynnie voices her unwanted opinion to a production staffer about what he was feeding his kids:
"I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-A-Soup."
Name: Gwyneth Paltrow
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
Occupation: Self Righteous Twit
The line is emblazoned on posters attempting to cash in on her "stardom".
"I AM AFRICAN"
Is it just me or does she make one feel LESS inclined to help?