Sean Penn Occupation: Sean row your boat ashore, hallelujah
Madonna's ex-husband doesn't approve of Mr. Valley Girl:
"Nic Cage is no longer an actor. He`s more like a performer."
Ok, let's see if I got it, Sean. NOT acceptable if Chris Rock makes jokes about actors at the Academy Awards. PERFECTLY acceptable if Sean Penn verbally throws his acting peers under the bus. What's good for the asshole is not good for the stand-up comic!
Fran Drescher Occupation: The flashy deviated septum from Flushing
Well, la di dah!
"If I go to a concert or sporting event I usually go in a VIP entrance. And leave the same way."
Is that how the aliens let her leave the space ship, too?
Alexis Bellino Occupation: Booby Bible thumper
It's always perplexing when someone under the age of 65 still uses the word "bling":
"I don't care if you're scrubbing a toilet, you can still bling it up."
Considering the alleged state of her finances, Alexis will soon be starring in her own real life Orange County version of Donna Summer's "She Works Hard For The Money" video. Maybe she can get some plastic "bling" out of the gumball machine.
Mark Wahlberg Occupation: The Boston Crotch Strangler
I can barely look at this quote because it is just so f*cking offensive, which explains my tardiness in posting it:
"If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, 'OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.'"
I guess he figured that if Laverne & Shirley could land a plane, then so could he.
Kris Humphries Occupation: The 72 Day Man
Well, this explains why he was confused about the "as long as you both shall live" part of the wedding vows:
"It was totally different than being in a basketball game."
Even with your wife having two basketballs as ass cheeks? Jeez. Being the genius of the century, he must have thought marriage was some long OT and divorce was just time to leave the court.
Adrien Brody Occupation: Not living up to his potential
The emotional fallout of being booted from a lead character to a smaller role in "The Thin Red Line":
"It kind of felt like a soldier coming home after giving his soul and then not being appreciated."
Minus, of course, the whole actually being shot at or watching other people die or getting spit on when you finally come home. Yeah, landing on the cutting room floor is almost exactly like being a real war veteran. Asswipe. Anyone want to start an Actor's Wounded Ego Project?
Ben Affleck Occupation: We're just not that into you...
Clearly able to lip smack his own ass:
"I just feel like sometimes I'm a force to be dealt with. My talents are sometimes overused and also sometimes underused. It's not easy being me."
It's also not easy being green or having an undeserved ego that requires a mansion to house it. Kermit and Miss Piggy, can I get an amen? Hells to the yeah!
Jill Zarin Occupation: The Upper East Side Pearl Shay
Junior High school cattiness, anyone?
"Two girls in a bathroom together---that’s not cool not at LuAnn’s party."
Oh my god! It is so totally not cool at all. They're going to miss the Fuzzy Navels and spin the bottle and Ouija. Jill's totally going to tell her mom if they don't stop talking in the bathroom like right now!
Kelly Bensimon Occupation: Beef jerky drying in the Hamptons
Slim Jim of the Hamptons has this to say about Ramona Singer:
"You don’t unwind. You unravel."
So says the human yarn ball, mind you...
Patti Stanger Occupation: Dressing like she lives in the Knots Landing cul-de-sac
Ye olde faced racist matchmaker spews this out:
"Jewish men lie."
It's amazing Miss Millionaire Matchmaker manages to hide a swastika under all those skin-tight dresses she's always wearing that appear left over from "The Nanny" costume department.
1 2 3 4 5 6 Next >

Search

Twitter Feed

  • Spent the day at the hospital arguing with my father's doctors. Fun times. I'm starting to get used to that funky, gross hospital smell.
  • Sad news. Juan Epstein passed away. #WelcomeBackKotter #RobertHegyes #SignedEpsteinsMother
  • RT @tomandlorenzo: "I'm a woman, Mary. I can be as contrary as I choose." #DowntonPBS #DowntonAbbey
  • RT @PBS: Are you a #DowntonPBS fan? -- check out tonight's "Secrets of the Manor House" -- preview it here: http://t.co/zHnyjH3S
  • @mrsbbouch I just can't believe she found the black chicken at Whole Foods. My Whole Foods barely gets around to refilling the bread bins.
  • @mrsbbouch How was A.I. last night? Anything funny? By the way, have been wondering if I am brave enough to eat black chicken fr. Top Chef.
  • RT @ventepriveeUSA: Ooh la la. We love that! RT @BlushSocial: @ventepriveeUSA My favorite new trend of 2012 is vintage & retro lingerie ...
  • RT @boonatalie: "@yaymichelle: *cut to twenty minutes later* ahhh, vodka and bacon! breakfast of champions."
  • Rest in peace, Etta James. Your amazing voice will be missed.
  • @BCBouchillon Thank you! (((Brandon)))
  • Follow Us >

Battle of the Sexes

Who is more stupid - men or women?
Men listed on site: 133
Total Entries from Men: 469
Women listed on site: 168
Total Entries from Women: 908

Wanna Talk?

If you have an idea for a submission, wish to congratulate and/or berate us, or otherwise need to contact us, please send all emails to: pns@prettyandstupid.com

Disclaimer

The quotes published on this site are gathered from a variety of sources and are meant for entertainment purposes only. We provide no warranty as to the veracity of the content presented. In short, if you can't take a joke, leave or grow some 'nads.

All celebrity images that appear on this site are the copyright of their respective owners, and we claim no credit for them whatsoever. If you own the rights to any image, and do not wish them to appear on this site, please contact us, and we shall remove them. We may not be funny, but at least we're not thieves.